We all have our little niches in life. Mine, I just figured out, is singleness. It's not a curse, it's a blessing. It took me a long while to peel away the stigma I placed on myself in regard to this status that appears on all my tax returns, medical records, and insurance cards. Not the blessing I anticipated I would be enjoying at this time in my life but it's mine and I like it.
Bottom line: The grass is green where you water it.
So with that, the first episode in this series includes stretchy pants and mini-vans. Sounds a lot like all my mommy friend's lives too, but only with a twist. ENJOY!
This angle does wonders for the stretchy pants physique, guaranteed not that pretty in real life.
A DATE STORY
[Adapted from an e-mail]
Unedited, forgive the grammar and punctuation.
So, first of all I was looking all cute in my stretchy padded bum biking pants, but then I was like, I can't wear just stretchy pants on a date with someone I don't hardly know, so I put shorts on over them, which is a complete NERD thing to do. But let's be honest stretchy bum pants are not the most flattering so it was 6's it was either total nerd with shorts over the top or Wendy in all her stretchy pants glory. I chose the nerd shorts over route. Which thinking back… I should have just worn normal shorts and forgot the stretchy pants all together. Whatev it is what it is. Other than the stretchy pants, I was looking cute, my hair was good, I was wearing a BYU t-shirt, which he is a Utah fan, but I had to represent on GAME DAY.
So I get to his house and we load up the bikes and away we go. The drive up the canyon was really pretty, the leaves were changing. I was not on my A game though, the conversation wasn't as free flowing as it was the first date (probably because I had gotten normal sleep the night before) and the first date I was completely sleep deprived, and running on only 1 hour of sleep due to the Timp hike hurricane debacle earlier that day but boy did I have a lot to say that first night, I was on one and our conversation was really really good. Even I was astounded at my opinions and my passion for what we were talking about. So maybe I was expecting it to just pick up where it left off.
So we get to Huntsville and unload our bikes, put on our biking shoes and helmets and we were ready to roll, then he shuts his car door and immediately he realizes he locked his keys, wallet, and phone in the car. Funny, you know how I am, I'm pretty chill when it comes to these type ofthings and I just laughed. I think he is worried about what to do so we start riding our bikes and then make it to a little cemetery and then ride back to his truck, it was about a 4 mile round trip ride, completely doable, no biggie. Then he decides he should probably call his parents to get the spare key, I agreed, it was a good idea. So who would have thought that Huntsville's, tiny little Huntsville would have a state of the art library open on Saturdays… well they do. So the nice people there let him use their phone to call his parents, remember he didn't have any numbers because he didn't have his cell with him, it was back in the truck, locked up nice and safe. :) So he got ahold of his mom, but his dad was at a genealogy conference at Weber State, and she couldn't get ahold of him because well, his phone was off. Anyway, so funny! Side note… Remember my internal cooling system is extremely overactive and any ounce of water in my system I sweat out… it's like I have little faucets are always turned on full blast. Yeah, so after only 4 miles, pretty sweaty and my hair starting to get a little damp. Aye yah, whatever, and a helmet doesn't allow it to blow in the wind and dry much while riding. ANNOYING! But I am who I am.
So there is nothing more we can do, his sweet little mom is trying to get ahold of his dad and we go off on another bike ride, this time to the end of the Huntsville world to a catholic monastery also known as an Abbey. Did you know Catholics have monks? I knew Buddhists did, but Catholics? And they live in an Abbey? I thought Abbey's were only for nun's. Maria lived in an abbey in the Sound of Music. So this is how uneducated I am about the Catholics. Maybe they should start an "I am a Catholic" campaign for all of the ignorant Mormons like me in Utah. :).
So we ride out there, and I love riding my bike but for some reason I was really tired, and slow. I do not know why.The ground was flat. Not many hills. I was bugged with myself that I was tired.and tried not to make it sound like I was out of breath when I was talking to him on what he probably thought was a leisurely little ride. Ha! So we make it to the monastery/abbey for the 12:15 chant, it was kind of interesting, I tell you what, those monks are getting old. Who would choose to be a monk, yeah solitude, pondering on life all day every day and chanting 5 times a day and taking care of bees? Boring Good for their dedicated little souls. So not for me! The gift shop was closed so we didn't get to even see the honey they make, wouldn't have done us much good because well, Boyd didn't have his wallet remember.
Ooh my word, remember how we had ridden just about 4 miles and I was sweating profusely… try adding 7 more miles to that. DRENCHED! So disgusting, It was beyond my normal sweat. It looked like I had just gotten out of the shower my hair was soaked through, It was to the ring out stage. Seriously. I could not believe it and it didn't even seem that hot. So just add soaked to the image of my shorts over stretchy pants. I'm a winner FOR SURE! So we headed back to the park where the truck was to see just by chance if his parents were there. Nope, nothing. So now we're just winging it. I suggested that maybe we go to a gas station to see if there was someone who had a slim jim that we could use to get into his truck. So onto bike ride number 3 for the day. This was probably around 1: 10. Originally we were going to just ride for about an hour then have lunch and come home. We have now been riding for ooh about 2 hours intermittently. So began bike ride number 3 for the day. WE get to the gas station we had no collateral except my watch to offer anyone even if they did have a slim jim and remember no money so we couldn't pay for anything. So funny. I stay outside witht he bikes and he goes is gone for a few minutes. While he's in side, I'm drying desperately to find some wind do dry out my hair a bit. SAD. Then he comes out, no slim jim. But he got ahold of his parents and they are on their way, it would be about another 1/2 hour. So onto bike ride #4. He thought there was a trail on the side of the road that went along the highway, there was but only for about a 1/2 mile. Then we were riding on the highway for a bit, he's worried he is going to get us both killed, so we end up turning around and coming back, which I was fine with because that this point it's getting hot and my legs were TIRED! But of course I act all tough and pretend like this ride is nothing, which it wasn't bad I was just surprised at how tired I was. We were at mile 14 when we started ride #4 on the highway. finally we made it back to town, We did ride past President McKay's home on our way back into town which was pretty neat to see. A PROPHET LIVED THERE. As we are riding the final stretch of our 19.4 mile ride he asked me a funny question. He asked what my dream car would be. I was torn as to weather I should be honest or go with the second option which is much more socially acceptable, because well my dream car is a mini-van, yes I know COMPLETELY NERDY and a good reason for someone to not ever ask me out again! He may have taken it as my over zealousness to get married and have a billion kids, which is totally not the case, I just think they are very handy vehicles for active people, a place for my bike, friends, gas mileage is better than an SUV, overall very practical vehicles. So I went with the honest answer. Then we round the corner and there are his cute little parents standing there to meet us. So nice, they were a bit older than I expected, his dad just turned 75. My grandma just turned 80.
They had the key and so we were saved. So then we all decided to go across the street to this cute little BBQ place, we are standing in line and his dad tells us to go ahead because he was buying, Boyd wasn't sure how to handle this… I think he was having an internal battle with his "man pride". Who can blame him, here he is on a date and his parents had to come rescue him, he had to introduce his date to his parents, and his dad was offering to pay for his lunch. I loved it. That's when you really see who people are, his dad was pretty persistent, so we went ahead and the parents got our food. We went outside and age and just chatted , it was a lovely time! I love meeting parents.I sure can genuinely shmmooze the parentals, guaranteed I would have been married along time ago if the parents had anything to do with it. The best was as we are leaving the restaurant and walking to our cars his dad yells across the street. "I HOPE BYU WINS!" LOVED IT!
So then we head back down the canyon, back to his house and we are talking, right before we pull in his driveway he goes back to the mini-van conversation. I think to myself ooh boy, here it comes, he's going to tell me how ridiculous I am for liking min-vans, I had all of my arguments about why they are superior vehicles loaded and ready to fire, when he surprised me and agreed that he too feels that mini-vans are superior to any other vehicle. So we had a good little bonding moments of the Toyota Sienna swagger wagon.
So the date ended and he gave me a hug. Hopefully there is a 3rd date, if so it won't be because of my incredible biking ability, or sense of stretchy pants fashion or even for my incredibly good looks, because let's be honest by the time the date was over….my hair was whacked out from sweat and all crazy pouf and ridiculous. But it would be because of our mini-van bonding moment.
That was my story from this last weekend. One for the books for sure. I am definitely interested, this is the point where I usually back off, just because of past experiences and let things just kind of fizzle out, but I kind of don't want this to happen with this one. Whatever happens happens. So I guess time will tell…